Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
