girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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