i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
