Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
