Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
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