btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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