I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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