I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
