Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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