I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
