I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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