That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
