hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
