Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm sobbing to NWA
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize