At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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