discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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