this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize