you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize