is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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