i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
