Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

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(631): View more from New York

we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.

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(607): View more from New York

I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name

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(330): View more from Ohio

thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.

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(613): View more from Ontario

On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?

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(209): View more from California

Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.

(209): View more from California

And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.

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(425): View more from Washington

I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.

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(214): View more from Texas

come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals

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