how can u be prego again
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
