So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Girls should come with a carfax report
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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