i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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