quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
