my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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