it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
