we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No I am not eating basil off your cock
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
