I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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