We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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