hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
