Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
