No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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