That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
