Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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