We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
