so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
