3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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