I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
