Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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