her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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