You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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