ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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