So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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