how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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