Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
