Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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