I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize