You're my little dorito
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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