We need to rekindle our bromance
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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