if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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