what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
