TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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